The Best and Worst Gifts I’ve Bought my Mum

Buying gifts for someone with dementia, especially advanced dementia, can be really hard. You know that their needs are being met, you want to get them something special, but there is every chance that whatever you get will elicit absolutely no reaction - and a big part of the joy of gift-giving is seeing the recipient being happy with their gift.
Here’s a bit of advice - lower your expectations. Preferably, to the floor. If you do get a reaction, you have hit the jackpot my friend! If you don’t - don’t worry about it. And if you get a negative reaction? Well, you can always try again tomorrow with exactly the same thing, and see if the reaction has changed!

I’m going to talk about some of the gifts I’ve given and, genuinely, none of these are bad gifts - some were just not as successful as I might have hoped.

Good - the softest blanket, ever

My mum can no longer walk, after having a fall that fractured her hip and not being able to get to grips with the rehab that would have been required to keep her mobile. Thus, she spends a lot of time sitting in her comfy chair, and I wanted her to have a lovely, soft blanket to tuck around. (I say ‘a’ soft blanket, if something is a success, I usually buy two, in case one goes astray in the care home, or is in the wash).
Enter, the yoga blanket. This is so soft and snuggly I have one myself (actually for taking to yoga) and another one to snuggle under on cold evenings. It is so soft, you will want one for yourself.
It’s (currently) £24.00 from Yoga Bliss

Yoga blanket from Yoga Bliss

Bad - watch from Amazon.

My mum had a lovely watch selection that was no longer suitable to wear, so I got her a ‘cheap, so it doesn’t matter if she loses it’ watch with an ‘easy to put on’ stretchy bangle.

There was nothing wrong with the watch, and I would maintain it was a decent present, but for my mum, who no longer knew what it was, it was a bit pointless. And, of course, got lost really quickly.
There’s a link here to a similar watch, as the one I bought is no longer available.

Great idea that didn’t work out - Robocat

Robocat

Now, I will maintain that Robocat is awesome, because I absolutely love him, myself. But, an electronic cat that purrs when you stroke it, miaows, rolls back to lick its paw, well, it’s not a cheap present to buy.
It is safe to say that the cat gave me a lot more entertainment that he ever gave my mum, who pretty much almost refused to look at him.
And, he’s not a soft, snuggly thing (containing hard mechanical parts and electronics), and his loud miaow could drive you to distraction (you can turn this off!).

I would perhaps recommend him to someone whose dementia is less advanced, although I do still try with him (mainly because my brain screams “but mum loved cats” every now and then, to make me try again). Robopets have a variety of pets available, and also offer a buy back scheme, if you buy directly from them.

The winnner who I have also raved about previously - Ollie the Octopus

Bouncing straight out of a fail with a Paddington Bear toy, I switched my thinking from ‘mum used to like x’, straight to ‘what works for her now?’ and she really likes soft, snuggly things with ears/limbs she can play with. Hence coming up with the thing with the most appendages possible, an octopus.
If you follow the blog, or our Facebook page, Ollie gets a lot of mentions, because he simply is the gift my mum has interacted with the most, and sometimes she just looks up, sees him and smiles. What on earth could you possibly ask for, more than that?
He is perfect for my mum, as she is. That’s not to say her preferences won’t change in the future, but, right now, Ollie is a win.
He comes in various colours and is currently £15.48 on Amazon.

Ollie the octopus

Of course, if you came to a gift website, looking for recommendations you can buy right here, I have a great book, if your loved one can still read (but no longer follow a story), some fab mugs, and lovely wall art for you to take a look at.