Now v The Future
If there’s one thing my parents’ experiences have taught me, it’s not to make too many plans for the future, and don’t bet your happiness now on what might be.
My parents each had such grand plans for what retirement would bring, after a life time of hard work.
My dad just wanted peace, I think. A quite, comfortable life.
In many ways, my mum and stepdad wanted the same, just…in another country.
That both of them had their eyes on it, but never quite got there (my dad died aged 70, he was still working full time, my mum developed early onset dementia) I definitely take as a bit of a cautionary tale. We truly don’t know what the future might bring, so let’s not pin all of our hopes on it being awesome, just in case.
I don’t mean ‘just sit around and accept that everything is awful, forever’, but I do mean not denying myself too much now, for the sake of enjoying a long retirement. There’s a balance to be struck. Whilst I know my family history doesn’t define what’s going to happen to me, I do want to learn the lesson that, even when things aren’t that great, you’ve got to find some contentment and joy. I also believe that learning that lesson now can only be of use, in the future.
I don’t have grand plans for a retirement abroad (luckily, as I can only presume, at 49 now, that the retirement age will be 106 before I get there). I’m probably much more similar to my dad in that I just want to be comfortable, not stressed and, in my case, accompanied by dogs. My husband and I have been in business together for 25 years. It’s full on, and you never take those ‘two weeks in the sun’ that normal people, with salaries do. So, I make an effort to ensure we do take breaks, just…shorter ones. And that they’re comfortable, not stressed and accompanied by dogs. The kind of thing where I think ‘yes, I could do this all of the time’.
Meanwhile the future, the actual ‘what about in 20 years time’ style future? Who knows. It feels to me now that in drug research there are great strides being made, across the board. With 141 new dementia drugs in trials, and the speed with which things seem to move these days, with all of the technological advances that have been made, I like to think that, even if I developed dementia there would be many more treatments available.
Alongside that, there needs to be a change in society to start understanding more the needs of people living with dementia. Right now, I feel like there is more fear than anything. We need to face that fear - we are an ageing population, and one in eleven people over the age of 65 have dementia. It follows no set trajectory, and people can live with the condition for years, so we need to put a lot of thought into how we treat people with dementia. Not just with drugs, but also with kindess and empathy.
Much love,
Anna
xx
